153. Your Life Is a Movie – Helenna Santos
Still from the 90s cult classic Reality Bites
Like many teens, I sometimes felt alone and lost, and I let these songs and stories transport me. I felt validated through movies and music, and that influenced how I related to the world.
I came of age in the early 90s, and out in the Canadian countryside where I grew up, I was heavily influenced by the TV shows, movies, music, magazines, and books of my time. I had the movie Reality Bites on VHS, and I watched it so often that the picture was almost all static. I made mixtapes and then later, mixed CDs of my favorite bands—Smashing Pumpkins, Nirvana, Veruca Salt, Weezer, Pink Floyd—and I’d listen to them while walking the country roads, dreaming about being an adult and living in the big city.
Back then, my teenage angst was real. Like many teens, I sometimes felt alone and lost, and I let these songs and stories transport me. I felt validated through movies and music, and that influenced how I related to the world. Seeing other artists laying themselves bare inspired me to dig deep into my imagination and my emotions and put that into creative expression.
I once had a boyfriend (drummer #4) who told me, “Your life is not a movie.” He said that I lived as if each moment was a dramatic scene with a soundtrack playing. Perhaps I did live life a little too “dramatically.” But I also think that allowing myself to sit in that heightened emotion is what gave me legs as a writer.
I believe there is a profound connection between the media that we consume and our own experience. All these years later, I still find myself walking through each day as if there’s a soundtrack playing on a cassette in my walkman, and I am the star of this blockbuster hit, and I’m 100% cool with that. It gives me the confidence and creative spark that I need to guide me through the day.
– Helenna Santos
