205. Brazenface – Tatiana Gallardo
Tatiana Gallardo
Tatiana Gallardo
There’s conviction in the command, but I say it with gentle love. It’s a reminder that I am capable of courage. That I can summon my secret strength.
I remember the first time I heard the word “brazen” in English class. I was 12, timid, and struck by the meaning of the word and its power. Bold and without shame. It felt like something I could never be: audacious, capable of doing whatever, without worry. Taller than my entire class and most of my teachers, I was scared to stand out anymore than I already did. I had grown comfortable in the corner. There, I could soften myself and my size. I preferred to be quietly creative and studious rather than loud and large.
With age, I became more confident about my height, thankfully—but I never dared to be brazen about my dreams. When I turned 24, I still felt the 12-year-old me’s fear. I had graduated college, gotten the job I hoped for, felt generally happy, yet I felt like I was still in the corner: afraid to speak up, to take risks, to pursue what I most desired—which was to shamelessly share my creative work with the world.
As I entered 2022, I wanted to push myself to overcome fear in every aspect of my life: professionally, personally, creatively. But I needed fuel. I needed inner strength. I needed to be, somehow, brazen. So I started letting the word I most remembered inspire me rather than haunt me. Every time I was about to do something scary—heart pounding, chest tightening, the worst case scenario flashing before me—I’d tell myself: Just put on your brazen face.
At first, I started saying it as I geared up for small moments of courage, like killing a spider or telling someone “no.” Just put on your brazen face. Then, the mantra appeared as I braced myself for bigger, scarier moves towards my dreams. Like pitching an essay. Publishing an illustrated story. Leaving my job to focus on my creative work. Just put on your brazen face, Tati. There’s conviction in the command, but I say it with gentle love. It’s a reminder that I am capable of courage. That I can summon my secret strength.
Aside from the subtle straightening of my spine, my appearance doesn’t change when I put on my brazen face—my face quite literally looks the same. But internally? There’s a wave of composure. A rush of confidence. A release of the brazen that’s always been there, ready to break through.
– Tatiana Gallardo
