51. A To-Feel List – Sky Banyes
Even in everyday responsibilities such as work and family, I realized that the upstream of every “to-do” was actually a “to-feel”: useful, financially secure, loving, loved.
We’re all in search of purpose. For me, the form that took was filling up my CV, my schedule, and my to-do lists. I was striving for achievements—and yet I never felt deeply fulfilled.
Three years ago, I started illustrating as a fun way to make sense of things. Over time, it became much more. With reflection, vulnerability, and the nourishing possibilities of pen and paper as my tools, I embarked on an essential search for meaning. It’s been a deep explorative dive, and what I discovered in the depths of every plunge was feelings.
Even in everyday responsibilities such as work and family, I realized that the upstream of every “to-do” was actually a “to-feel”: useful, financially secure, loving, loved.
Now, I consciously first focus on my feelings—instead of my doings—and allow them to guide my path. It has challenged the foundation upon which I’m building my life. The experience has been transformative.
– Sky Banyes
Prompt:
Write a “to-feel” list. Start by naming your deepest yearnings and aspirations. Then take a moment to reflect on each—to study your own feeling compass, teasing out the nuances of what each contains with more depth and specificity. You can make your list as a row or column, or lay them out in a fluffy brainstorming cloud. Feel free to use colors and to get creative.
Now, take a look at your list. Are your priorities, habits, and rituals serving these feelings? What steps can you take to honor the items on your “to-feel” list?*Note: These letters are not meant to be sent.
Further reading for inspiration:
Daddy-Long-Legs by Jean Webster
Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke
“A Letter to My Nephew” by James Baldwin
